


Could Dante Out Pizza the Hut??

by Tharapita



Series: Antics Happen When Two Sons of Sparda Are Left Alone in Hell [3]
Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Brother-Brother Relationship, Comedy, Dante is a massive goof ball, Dante loves pizza, Fluff, Gen, Humour, Leaving Dante on his own is always a bad idea, Memes, Pizza, Pizza Hut, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:48:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29096793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tharapita/pseuds/Tharapita
Summary: Dante is convinced that the minute he and Vergil get out of Hell they'll get pizza. But not at Pizza Hut. Never at Pizza Hut. Vergil is confused, but when it comes to his brother why does he expect anything else?
Relationships: Dante & Vergil (Devil May Cry)
Series: Antics Happen When Two Sons of Sparda Are Left Alone in Hell [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2011081
Kudos: 19





	Could Dante Out Pizza the Hut??

“What’s next? Ah yes, Dominoes! Now they do good take-out pizza!” Dante continued. Vergil had learnt to tune him out at this point. Honestly, the man had been being continually talking for at least 4 hours on the different pizza places in Capulet City. He wasn’t entirely sure which was worse, the sheer number of pizza joints in the middle-sized city where his brother lived, which seemingly survived only off of Dante’s insane life goal to eat nothing but pizza, or the fact that his brother had memorised every quirk of every single one, including different restaurants of the same franchise. If Dante put as much effort into Demon Lore as he did into pizza he might actually make headway with studying.

“And, finally, there was Pizza Hut. The unlimited drinks, those cheesy bite crusts. Haha, I remember Trish and I used to have a bet to see which of us could eat an entire large pizza with the cheesy bite crust first. I won, of course, top speed of 4 minutes. Their ice cream game could do with some work, but overall Pizza Hut was the best pizza restaurant.” Well, that was different. Not at all that Vergil had been listening to Dante’s prattle, but none of the other restaurants had been talked of in the past tense. Sensing a weakness in his twin, Vergil hid a grin and pounced.  
“Well, perhaps we should go there for our, how did you phrase it, family reunion dinner?” Silence abounded for a good few moments, a rare sound indeed in Hell, especially when the twins were concerned. 

“Ah, well y’know Verge, maybe. But I dunno, perhaps it’s not a good idea to throw you into the glories of Pizza Hut right away. Keep it cool with a Pizza Express first, maybe…?”  
“Brother.” Vergil began, enjoying tightening the noose further around his twin’s neck. “Unfortunately, I remember pizza, and your insistence we have it for breakfast on our birthdays EVERY YEAR. Moreover, have listened to you extol the virtues of pizza for over 4 hours. This ‘Pizza Hut’ sounds like your favourite. Unless there is a problem with it?”

“Well yeah but uhhhhh……” Dante was very clearly beginning to flounder, and Vergil was enjoying every minute of his brother’s increasing panic. “You – er – I mean I – ah! Because it’s my favourite I know you won’t like it! YEAH! Pizza Express is a much posher affair.” Hum, that wasn’t a bad argument actually. There was no way Dante had come up with it on his own, clearly. And there was no way Vergil was going to take it as an answer.

“Dante, as I only just mentioned, I have an intense dislike of pizza directly because of your actions. If you continue to insist our ‘family dinner’ will be pizza, I will continue to be uncomfortable. So why…not…Pizza…Hut?” Vergil smirked in triumph as he watched his brother’s face migrate from fear to panic to defeat. Finally, he turned away and mumbled something. “I’m sorry, brother, I missed that.” “I – I said Verge that I got you banned from Pizza Hut.” 

Ah ha! Victory!  
“And tell me Dante, how did you manage to get yourself banned from Pizza Hut? Too many cheesy bite – WAIT, HANG ON……….you got ME banned?!? How?!? I was in Hell, LITERALLY.” Ok, so maybe Vergil was overreacting slightly, but how on earth did Dante manage to get SOMEONE OTHER THAN HIMSELF banned?!?  
“Ah see, here’s the thing.” Dante was looking most definitely sheepish. “I’m consistently broke and Pizza Hut costs money and I just HAPPENED to buy a coat that looked a lot like yours and then one thing lead to another and……I dined and dashed dressed up as you in every Pizza Hut in Capulet City, and in fact in so many across the country that you’re banned…globally…and might have an ongoing police investigation looking into you.” WHAT?!? Just WHAT?!? Globally?!? POLICE INVESTIGATION?!?  
“Well brother, I suppose it’s true then. You can’t out pizza the hut.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comedy! Yay! We enjoying laughing hahaha


End file.
